Teacher: Jerry, how old is your father?
Jerry: He is 10 years.
Teacher: What? How can that be?
Jerry: Because he became a father only when I was born.
Teacher: Does that mean that your mother is also 10?
Jerry: Sure, because that's when she became a mother.

Teacher: Karen, go to the map and find North America.
Karen: It is right here.
Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: Karen did.

Teacher: Jane, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Jane: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
Teacher: No, that’s not correct.
Glenn: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

Teacher: Tommy, what is the chemical formula for water?
Tommy: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Tommy: Well, yesterday you told us that it’s H to O.
Teacher: Now, I suppose you think that the same thing could be said for the chemical formula
for hydrogen sulfide which is H to S (H2S) = H I J K L M N O P Q R S?
Tommy: Sure. Why not?

Teacher: Manfred, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his paper?
Manfred: No, sir; it’s just that it's the same dog.

Joe: Mr. Smith, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Joe: Good, because I didn't do my homework.

Teacher: Patrick, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested in listening to him or to her?
Patrick: A teacher.